Trump fears, schedules, stalkers, crushes

By staff writer Mia Bazo

Dear M,
I am a Muslim middle schooler in Alameda but I don’t want to say where I go to school. My parents are immigrants and my mother wears a hijab. I am so afraid for my family since the election. My mother already gets comments and evil looks and I think it’s gotten worse lately. They are talking about making Muslims like my family register now. I am so afraid of what will happen. I don’t know what to do.
— “Scared in Alameda”

Hey Scared in Alameda,
Muslim
I am sorry you are going through this. People hurt others to make themselves feel better because they are jealous, confused, or scared. You are going through a very rough time, especially with everything that’s happening with America. Always, always, always be the bigger person by showing them you have no fear. Don’t give them that power over you. Just hold your head high and walk away. If you want to say something, choose your words wisely. It’s hard to be targeted by a lot of people, and shame on them for targeting you and your family!

The only real good thing about your situation is that going through this tough period will make you a stronger and better person, and you’ll learn who your real friends are. It may not feel like it right now, but there are a lot of people who don’t agree with what’s happening to Muslim Americans. You have support in your community. Don’t you ever stop fighting for your rights and don’t be afraid of standing up for yourself and your family.

I know Ask M is anonymous, but if I know you in real life, please know that you can always come to me for support. Actually, even if I don’t know you, you still have my support and understanding! Remember you’ve got an entire community on your side, and you’ve got the entire school district on your side!
“The best way to predict the future is to create it.” -Abraham Lincoln
Mia's envelope,
M

 

Dear M,
I recently moved away from my crush and friends last year. I don’t fit in at my new school and the move has been really hard for me. Do you have any suggestions?
— “Miserable in Missouri”

Hey Miserable in Missouri,
friendsMy advice to you is to be open to new friends. They will help you adjust to the new area, and they’ll have your back. You can join a club at school, play a sport, or even just approach people at lunch. If there’s a “popular girl/boy,” don’t be afraid, you can try to be friends with them too. (Don’t be afraid of becoming friends with someone of the opposite sex!)

I know what it’s like: I moved to a new school in second grade. I just tried to make friends. Now I have some pretty amazing friends, and they’re kinda like my family now. If you really miss home, maybe one day you can go back and visit your hometown and do a surprise visit. Trust me, everyone will love it! Plan it with one close friend and tell them to gather up people at a park and then you can surprise them. As for the crush you miss, you can always send him/her a text, email, or even a letter every once in a while, or stay connected on social media if you’re on it. In the end, don’t get too caught up in trying to find a partner because you are perfectly fine flying solo 😉 Try to have fun in your new situation!

Mia's envelope,
M

 

Dear M,
schedule
I’m a bit stressed out. My parents have this rule for me to be dressed and ready to go by a certain time for school, but I have trouble with it. They tell me I have to wake up by 7am for school. The requirement is for me to be dressed, packed up, and eating breakfast by 7:30am. I’ll admit I have some trouble being on time, but it’s not all the time! I’m in 8th grade. I think I should be in charge of my own schedule. What should I do?
— “Frustrated 8th Grader”

Hey Frustrated 8th Grader,
Oh my goodness, you have no idea how much that sounds like my situation for the mornings! Up before (or at) 7am, downstairs by 7:30, and leave the house at 8am. I have to do that too… and so you know you’re not alone, I’m an 8th grader too! I agree with you; I hate this rule, too, and I believe we are old enough to make our own schedule for mornings.

Here’s the thing: If your parents aren’t willing to discuss it, I think you’re just going to have to get into the habit of abiding by their schedule. They may be trying to teach you something about discipline and the value of being on time. And maybe they’re trying to prepare you for high school, which starts even earlier in the morning.

But try to talk to them about it. My advice is to spend two weeks going downstairs by 7:30 (if you take a little more time to get ready come down at 7:25 and wake up at 6:55). Notify them that you’re going downstairs every morning so they actually know you were down there by 7:30. Gain their trust that you can accomplish your timing, and then ask if you could have a mini family meeting. Tell them your points about how you’d like to make your own schedule, and have a plan! If you want to wake up at 7:10 get ready and go downstairs at 7:40, you might want to pack your lunch the night before. (Get it?) Hopefully they’ll see how responsible you are! Good luck!
Mia's envelope,
M

 

Dear M,
This really annoying boy is always following me around! I told him to stop but he wouldn’t, what should I do?
— “Surrounded by a Stalker”

Hey Surrounded by a Stalker,
stalker
If this gets even close to being out of hand you need to go to an adult. Don’t start being mean to him but make sure he understands that you don’t like his behavior.

Why does he want to stalk you? It is kinda weird and creepy. Don’t let this go on for too long. For now I’m pretty sure he’s messing around but you can’t always be sure.

I’d say you should confront him or talk to his friends about it. There are tons of possibilities to why he might be following you around. Maybe he’s looking to join your friend group, maybe he’s nosey, or maybe he’s actually stalking you to find out something? In the end stalking isn’t a good thing to do to someone and it can be scary. I don’t know if he’s just following you around at school or following you home. Talk to an adult!
Mia's envelope,
M

 

 

Are you in burning need of some advice? Don’t want to ask your friends but want to keep it anonymous instead?
Ask our intrepid advice columnist Mia!
Post your question below and we’ll consider answering it in a future issue of The Dolphin Tail!